I went back to church yesterday. That’s a big step for me. Don’t get me wrong…I haven’t been mad at God or anything. I’ve probably talked to Him more. But I was just done with church drama and always being pushed from my faith by going to church.
My parents understood why – they’ve watched me always be on the losing end of a fight. But it didn’t stop them from encouraging me to try it again. It’s just hard to relax and enjoy a church family when I always end up getting screwed by them in the end.
But sometimes, church is the only place that I can just feel at peace with life. It was a long week – work all day, volunteer at a pizza stand (raising money for the volunteer fire company) after work until 9-10 every night. My running, which was going SO well, had to be curbed indefinitely as we figure out what the heck happened with my hip. When I can’t work out, my head is fuzzy and I’m just not as happy. It’s like my drug.
In other news, Brad got a promotion. At 25 years old, he was promoted to Supervisor. Essentially, he’s in control of the campus, answering only to the Superintendant and one other employee. It’s awesome that he got such a great promotion at such a young age. It sucks that they’re changing his schedule and he’ll be working 2pm-10pm Sunday-Thursday. It’s almost the same schedule he was on when I first moved up here. The difference is, then I wasn’t working so I’d still see him all morning/early afternoon before he leaves. Now, I leave at 7:40 (before he would be waking up), come home for a 45 minute lunch (which I’ll be able to spend with him) and that’s all the interaction I will have with my husband. Him getting off work at 10:00 means he’s home between 10:30-11:00 (I’m in bed) and that’s on a good day. He can’t leave until the next shift supervisor comes on duty…so if that third shift supervisor calls out sick…he’s there until 6am. The other day he was on that shift and got home around 3:30am. If we had kids right now, I don’t know what we’d do.
I’m still trying to get back to Charlotte. I’ve applied for over 60 jobs (rejected for 25), but I think the fact that I’m out of state is working against me. I keep telling myself that something will come along eventually. In the meantime, since we lived off Brad’s salary before I took a job, everything I make is going into savings. So the longer we stay here, the more money that goes into savings. Can’t complain with that. I’m okay with staying until I graduate, it’s just hard because I’ve been so independent and had my own place before…and I don’t have that anymore. I’m dying to have “our” place where we can paint and do whatever we want. I’m still hoping to successfully defend my thesis in one semester and graduate in May. They say it’s rare to get through it in one semester, but I’ve already talked with my adviser and narrowed down a topic and started researching it. Next semester I’ll take Qualitative Research Methods and write my methods section. After that, it’s just the actual content analysis and literature reviews and the actual defense. And no, I’m not mixing it up with a dissertation. This program makes you defend your thesis in front of a panel. Not excited about it.
This wasn’t the most exciting blog entry ever, but some of the fuzz is lifting at least. Whew.